The Christmas Cheese!
by Chuquita
Summary: It's theChristmasSeason&Veggie's pride has been shotdown once again.He's offered a chance to see what would'veHappened if he never existedTheOuji takes the offer,boasting how horribleEarth would be w/out him;but what he finds is something muchmore frighte
1. Default Chapter

4:50 PM 11/15/01  
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com  
By: Chuquita  
Quote of the Week: -from "The Brak Show"  
Brak: And even though the donkey melted just outside of Marshmellow City,  
Dean didn't care, cuz that's just the kinda man he was.  
Father: Ahh yes, he was the Dean of Martins.  
  
Chuey's Corner:  
[the Corner is decorated in elaborate Christmassy decor; Chu is sitting at  
the desk, next to her is Goku, who's wearing Christmas lights all over his gi and  
a goofy smile on his face]  
Vegeta: [sitting between the two] (raises an eyebrow) "The Christmas Cheese"?  
Chuquita: (smirking) Do you have a problem with that little Veggie?  
Vegeta: What the heck does CHEESE have to do with this story! THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY  
NOTHING TO DO WITH CHEESE!  
Chuquita: It doesn't have to.  
Vegeta: And WHY are we having a CHRISTMAS story when it isn't even THANKSGIVING yet!  
[points to the time/date at the top of the page]  
Goku: (grins) Why, because we like you, M-O-U-S-EEEE...  
Vegeta: And WHY is Kakarrot dressed up like a giant Christmas Tree! You might as well  
just plant a plastic star on his head and give him two tree branches to hold WHILE THE  
ENTIRE BLASTED TOWN SINGS CAROLS AROUND HIM! [slams his fist down on the table]  
Goku: (boasts) If you MUST know, it's so Santa doesn't miss me this year.  
Vegeta: "miss him?"  
Chuquita: (elbows Vegeta in the gut) (whispers) Veggie, Son-San's family's really poor  
remember! It's hard for them to buy a lot of presents.  
Vegeta: (sniffles) You mean Kaka-chan's poor? *insert tears* Poor little Kaka-chan,  
that's heartbreaking.  
Goku: [bouncing inbetween them & places fuzzy-reindeer-antlers on Veggie's noggin] (giggles  
and zips back to decorating the rest of the corner)  
Vegeta: (looks up at the fuzzy-reindeer-antlers and grumbles)  
(angrily) AND WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH HIM I'M GOING TO BREAK MORE THAN JUST HIS HEART!  
Chuquita: [grabs Veggie & holds him back by the arms] No ya don't! (grins) That wouldn't be in  
the Christmas spirit, would it Veggie?  
Goku: (grins & zips over in front of them) (happily) Yeah little buddy! (puts a blinking red  
Rudolph nose on Vegeta's nose) Where IS your Christmas spirit?  
Vegeta: (growling) OH I'll give you spirit alright Kakarrot! I'LL GIVE YOU _YOUR_ SPIRIT ON A  
SILVER PLATTER!  
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) And now on with the fic!  
  
  
Summary: It's the Christmas season and Veggie's pride has been shot down once again. He's offered  
a chance to see what would've happened if he never existed. The Ouji takes the offer, boasting  
how horrible Earth would be without him; but what he finds is something much more frightening  
then he ever dreamed of--Kakarrot ruling it.  
  
Ages:  
Bura-8  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
  
" OOOOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOO, it's prettyful! " Goku said as he stared at the display in one  
of the store windows.  
" What's "prettyful"? " Vegeta said, annoyied yet slightly curious as he walked over to  
where the taller saiyajin was standing, Bura close behind him.  
" THAT! " Goku squealed, smushing Vegeta's face against the glass. Goku's eyes sparkled  
as he looked at the object, " FISHY-SLIPPERS! " he pointed to fuzzy orange pair of slippers.  
Each slipper shaped like a fish, " OH THEY'RE SO CUTE! I HOPE SANTA BRINGS ME A PAIR THIS YEAR! "  
Vegeta dislodged his face from the glass window, " Kakarrot, they're just slippers!  
What's the big deal? "  
" I've never had a pair of slippers before... " Goku trailed off, smiling dreamily at  
the fishy-slippers, " AND THEY LOOK JUST LIKE FISH! " he ended excitedly.  
" You mean you've really never owned any slippers EVER Mr. Goten's Daddy? " Bura said,  
shocked.  
" Nope. " Goku sighed, his mood slightly depressing itself, " I think by the time Santa  
gets to my house from going all over the world to all the other houses...that there isn't much  
leftover in his sack left to give. " he shrugged.  
" Or MAYBE Santa just doesn't like you. " Vegeta smirked, then felt a slap across his  
face.  
" HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I HOPE SANTA CLAUS GIVES YOU NOTHING BUT _COAL_  
FOR CHRISTMAS _VEGETA_! " Goku screamed, then noticing the hurt look on the shorter saiyajin's  
face, pulled his arm away.  
" Kaka-chan! " Vegeta said in shock, holding his now-red cheek.  
" Oh Toussan, don't cry! " Bura said sympathetically, hugging Vegeta's leg. The smaller  
saiyajin looked up at Goku in shock and pain.  
" I do NOT cry for stupid IDIOTS like Kakarrot! " Vegeta said, growling in Goku's  
direction, then turned in the other direction and rubbed his slapped cheek, sniffling softly. He  
shook the feeling off.  
" Hey Mr. Goten's Daddy? How much ARE the fishy-slippers anyway? " Bura asked curiously.  
" I dunno, " Goku answered, then grinned, " All I know is I WANT UM! "  
" $125? " Vegeta said, looking at the price. He smirked, " Well you're NOT going to get  
them, so you can forget about that Kakarrot. "  
" Huh? " Goku looked at him curiously.  
" There's no way your Onna'll have 125 bucks to buy you those fish-shaped slippers. "  
Vegeta said to him.  
" Of course I'll get 'um. Santa doesn't buy the presents, all his magical little elfs  
in his little toy factory up at the north pole make them for us good little kids, silly. " Goku  
said with big sparkily eyes. He stopped, " And what do you mean "Onna"? Since when has Chi-Chi  
been helping Santa Claus deliever presents!? AND WHY DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL ME THIS! "  
Vegeta sweatdropped, " You don't get it...do you? "  
" ? "  
" Kakarrot, there is no such thing as--MMPH! " Vegeta was interrupted to find Bura's hand  
over his mouth.  
" TOUSSAN! NO! " she scholded.  
" But B-chan! " Vegeta whined.  
" You don't wanna break Mr. Goten's Daddy's heart do ya? " Bura pleaded with him.  
Vegeta smirked, " You bet I do. " he said under his breath, then felt himself pulled  
downward by the collar.  
" No you don't, I know you don't. " Bura said with an impish smile on her face, " You  
like Mr. Goten's Daddy too much to do something like that. "  
" Yeah Veggie, you like me too much to do something like that. " Goku's voice chimed in  
from behind Vegeta. Vegeta looked over his shoulder to see Goku smiling at him with the big  
sparkily eyes from before.  
" Uhhhh... " Vegeta stared at him, at a loss for words.  
" Little buddy wanna tell me somethin? " he squealed anxiously.  
" I..I...it's about Santa Claus. " Vegeta said, still staring.  
" REALLY? " Goku grinned, " Is it a secret? "  
" Uhh, yeah, it's a secret. "  
" A really really secretty secret? " Goku grinned wider. Vegeta snickered evilly.  
" Yes Kakarrot. A "really really secretty secret". " he said, half-mockingly, " Wanna  
know what it is? "  
Goku nodded excitedly. Vegeta whispered in his ear.  
" Santa Claus isn't real... "  
" ... "  
" That's right Kakarrot, there is no such thing as Santa Claus. He is a figment of your  
stupid third-class imagination! He's a fairy tale your baka friends told you. Do you want to know  
why they always tell you to go to sleep because Santa won't come unless you are? That's because  
they don't want you to see THEM placing YOUR PRESENTS that they bought at the STORE under the  
tree. " Vegeta scoffed.  
" ... " Goku stood there, frozen.  
" Kakarrot? " Vegeta said, confused, " You...oh-kay? "  
" ... "  
" Kakarrot? "  
" ... "  
" Come on Kakarrot, that's not funny. " Vegeta said, his voice faltering as he walked  
towards the other saiyajin, who's face was now a pale white color. Goku blinked, as if coming  
out of a trance. He looked down at Vegeta with a cruel and icy glare, causing Vegeta to back up,  
a look of surprise on his face. His eyes widened as Goku snarled at him. Vegeta noticed the tears  
welling up in the Goku's eyes, " Uh, Kakarrot listen I-- "  
" --GO AWAY! " Goku roared, sending chills up Vegeta's spine, " GO AWAY! I DON'T EVER  
WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN YOU MONSTER! " he screamed, taking two steps back and prepared to teleport.  
" No! NO KAKARROT WAIT! " Vegeta cried, running at him. He screeched to a halt just as  
Goku disappeared. Vegeta bit his lip, slighlty worried, " Monster? " he said, them smirked &  
crossed his arms, " Hmmph, well good ridence. We don't need that bakayaro messing up OUR  
Christmas shopping, do we B-chan? " he said, then glanced over at Bura, who was staring at  
Vegeta in the same dark, vengeful, ominous way.  
" How could you do such a thing to him! He didn't deserve to have his dreams broken in  
two anymore then you would Toussan! " Bura said, shaking her head.  
" Oh come on B-chan, it's just Kakarrot. He gets over things easily, you know him. "  
Vegeta said, trying to lighten the mood, " In fact, I give him a good 15 minutes before he comes  
back here to apoligize to me for what he's done. " he said as-a-matter-of-factly.  
Bura sweatdropped, " But Toussan, YOU were the one who should be doing the apoloizing  
right now! "  
Vegeta rolled his eyes, " Yeah right, like I'm gonna go up to Kakarrot, fall to my knees  
and beg for his forgiveness while I sob like a little girl-- " he paused, looking down at Bura.  
His face turned red, " No offense, I didn't mean you, I meant, "  
" You better apologize to Mr. Goten's Daddy RIGHT NOW or he's gonna hate you for the rest  
of your life Toussan. " Bura warned, then turned and continued walking, " And so will I. "  
" WHAT? " Vegeta shrieked, " You're not serious, are you little B-chan? " he said weakly.  
" You bet I'm serious! That was a very mean thing for you to do to Mr. Goten's Daddy,  
Toussan. " Bura said, still facing the other direction.  
" But B-chan, listen! " Vegeta cried, " I didn't mean to, I mean, I didn't know it was  
going to...rip his heart into..pieces. " he finished, realization setting in, " ..oh crap. "  
" You've done a lotta mean things to Mr. Goten's Daddy in the past, Toussan, but this is  
the last straw! " Bura said, then mocked, " "a figment of your stupid third-class imagination!".  
He'll NEVER forgive you. He called you a MONSTER Toussan! Mr. Goten's Daddy's NEVER called you  
a monster before. And he's never looked at you like that before. He's really mad Toussan. "  
" ... " Vegeta looked down at the ground, " Are you mad at me B-chan? " he looked up  
slightly, " Are you still mad at me? "  
Bura turned around to face him, her regular sweet smile on her face, " Nope! " she  
chirped, " I can't stay mad at you silly. " she giggled. Vegeta grinned, then grabbed Bura &  
hugged her.  
" Aww, little B-chan! " he said happily, " I knew you wouldn't desert me! I knew you  
wouldn't turn on me! " Vegeta said, then pulled away. Bura smiled at him, then frowned.  
" Somehow I'm not sure Mr. Goten's Daddy is going to be able to forgive you that easily  
though. " she sighed, " He seemed really hurt inside. And he was crying when he was yelling at  
you. "  
Vegeta set Bura down and they headed to the car, " Don't worry little B-chan, " he said  
sweetly, " Kaka-chan's very easy to please. I'll just say I'm sorry and he'll instantly adore  
me again. "  
Bura looked up at him curiously, " But what's the good of saying you're sorry unless  
you really mean it? "  
  
  
  
" Home at last. " Vegeta sighed with relief as he & Bura got out of the car in front of  
Capsule Corp. Vegeta shivered, " I could've sworn I felt someone glaring back at me the entire  
trip home. " he looked down at Bura, who shrugged.  
" Wasn't me. " she answered.  
Vegeta scratched his head, then went to the front door & opened it, only to find the  
house dead-silent, " Onna? Mirai? Trunks? " he called out.  
" Kaasan? " Bura nervously squeaked out as she clung to Vegeta's leg, frightened.  
" That's strange, you'd think at least they'd leave me a blasted note! " Vegeta said,  
slightly ticked off, then opened the door to the kitchen & froze to see Bulma, Trunks, & Mirai  
glaring at him in the same cold look that was on Goku's face earlier. Vegeta's face fell.  
" Looks like Mr. Goten's Daddy's made a few housecalls. " Bura said in a sing-song voice,  
worried.  
" He--hello, Bulma, dear, honey? " Vegeta nervously squeaked out.  
" OUT! " Bulma screamed, pointing at the back door.  
" Wha-huh!? "  
" OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW MISTER! " she screamed, furious.  
" Whad I do?! " Vegeta said, utterly confused.  
" Oh you KNOW what you did Mister "high and mighty saiyajin no ouji"! "  
" Actually, it's "the great and powerful saiya-- " Vegeta stopped in the middle of  
correcting her, " --this wouldn't have anything to do with Kakarrot, would it? "  
" YOU'RE DARN RIGHT IT HAS TO DO WITH "kakarrot"! " Bulma stomped over to him, " Chi-Chi  
just called me on the phone, apparently Goku has locked himself in his bedroom CRYING and in a  
DEEP depression! He was sobbing something about a MONSTER and Santa Claus not being real. " she  
put her hands on her hips. Vegeta looked down at the floor,  
" I don't have any idea what you're talking about. " Vegeta denied.  
" Vegeta, the only two people Goku was last with were YOU and BURA. And I seriously  
DOUBT Bura here was the one who blurted out to him that Santa doesn't exist, and that he was not  
going to get any presents this year, AND that it's his other family members putting the gifts  
under the tree instead of Santa. " Bulma said.  
" I might've said something... " Vegeta shrugged.  
" Vedge, he is not even EATING! HE HAS STOPPED EATING ALL TOGETHER! HE WILL NOT LEAVE HIS  
ROOM! HE WILL NOT GO TO THE BATHROOM, HE WILL NOT GO DOWN TO SEE CHI-CHI SO WE CAN KNOW WHAT'S  
WRONG WITH HIM--HE'S NEVER DONE _ANYTHING_ LIKE THIS BEFORE! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM! "  
" I already told you, I DIDN'T say-- " Vegeta stared.  
" No, " Bulma interupted, " No, I don't want to even know what you told him. All I DO  
know is that YOU will no longer be living here you heartless creep! " she said, then dumped  
Vegeta's blanket, pillow, and Pookee into his arms.  
" Kaasan no! You can't kick Toussan out! " Bura cried, " He has no other place to go!  
Poor helpless Toussan, he'll have to live out on the street all alone! Toussan's scared to be all  
alone and we need him! " she begged.  
" Well he can sleep on the streets too for all I care! " Bulma threatened, then turned to  
Vegeta, " NOW GET OUT! YOU ARE NO LONGER WANTED OR NEEDED HERE! "  
" ... " Vegeta, shocked, looked around the room for any support on his side, then,  
producing no result, sighed, " Fine, be that way. I DON'T NEED YOU BAKAS ANYWAY! I DON'T NEED  
ANY OF YOU! " he shouted, then stomped out, slamming the door behind him. Bura ran to the window  
& pressed her face against it.  
" Toussan! Toussan come back! _I_ need you! "  
  
  
  
Vegeta found himself standing in front of the Sons front door, clutching his pillow,  
blanket, and teddybear. He glanced up at a lone 2nd floor window, Goku's room. Vegeta shivered,  
assuming it was just the cold air. He reached to knock at the door, then stopped.  
::What am I doing. This is the LAST place I should be right now. The second they open  
this door Chi-Chi's going to come flying at me with her frying pan and beat me to a bloody  
pulp!:: Vegeta thought to himself, " It's not MY fault! _I_ didn't know how deeply Kakarrot  
believed in this Santa Claus thing! I wouldn't have done it if I had known it was going to  
TRAMATIZE him! " he sighed, then instantly gazed up as the light in Goku's window flickered on.  
He ran over to beneath the window, " KAKARROT! KAKARROT ARE YOU IN THERE! " he called up,  
" IT'S ME! The...monster... " Vegeta trailed off, a tinge of pain instantly pierced inside him.  
A figure opened the window. Vegeta squinted his eyes at the figure, who was holding the  
rungs of the window above his head.  
" Whadda you want! " the figure said angrily in a choked up voice, its bloodshot eyes  
staring down at Vegeta viciously.  
" I...Kakarrot? Is that you? " Vegeta said, slightly nervous.  
" I SAID WHAT DO YOU WANT! " the figure said in a more impatient voice.  
" Umm, Kakarrot, listen. A really funny thing, heh-heh, funny, happened to me just now.  
I, uhh, I just got kicked out of my house and, well, you see I need a place to stay and-- "  
Vegeta stammered, trying to keep his pride intact.  
" Why don't you just go live where all the other monsters live, in a CAVE! " Goku said  
coldly. Vegeta grabbed at his own chest with his free hand, as if something inside were ready  
to explode.  
" You--you don't mean that. " he shouted back up at him, frightened, " We're 'buddies',  
right? I'm your, your 'little buddy Veggie'. You love me. "  
" I HATE YOU!!!! " Goku screamed, then slammed the window down hard, sending cracks  
throughout the glass.  
" ... " Vegeta stared up at the window, scared and amazed at the same time. He clutched  
his possessions tighter, then felt something cold smack him on the nose. The ouji looked down to  
the end of his nose to see a large raindrop. Above him were a sea of dark clouds, " Crap, just  
what I need now--rain. " he said in dismay.  
  
  
  
" They hate me. " Vegeta said as he walked along the now muddy streets of Satin City,  
" Bulma hates me, Mirai hates me, Trunks hates me, Chi-Chi--no, wait, she's always hated me. "  
he paused, then continued, " Gohan hates me, Goten hates me, and worst of all, Kakarrot hates  
me. " his voice faltered on the end of the sentence, " Damn, I really screwed up THIS time. And  
all because of Kakarrot and his stupid childish notion about a big jolly bearded fat man living  
up at the North pole who flys around every year giving presents to everyone! " he huffed.  
" Kaka-chan will proabably never talk to me again! " he said sadly, " And Onna'll  
probably never let me back in the house again until Kaka-chan forgives me, " Vegeta said, then  
sniffled, " And he'll never forgive me. If I was him I wouldn't have forgiven me either. " he  
said flatly, " What else could go wrong! "  
" *THUNK!* "  
" YEOW! " Vegeta screamed, then looked upward, the huge raindrops had turned into huge  
balls of hail, plunking to the ground and knocking half the people in the street unconsious.  
Vegeta gulped, then held his belongings over his head to prevent being thwaked by the hail & ran  
off in search of shelter, he felt something grab him, then nearly slipped, almost falling onto  
the sidewalk. He looked over his shoulder, only to yelp to see a small beagle with it's jaws  
around a dropping piece of Vegeta's blanket. He pulled on the blanket, hard; then heard a snap.  
Vegeta gawked to see the dog's jaws still around the end of the blanket. He sweatdropped, then  
embarassingly ripped the jaws off of the blanket & plunked them back in the dog's mouth, who  
promptly ran off, scared out of its mind. Vegeta looked at his blanket & gasped to see an corner  
of it missing.  
" Ehhh, " he moaned, still looking for a shelter. The ouji spotted an empty toll both and  
flew over to it. He poked his head in the window, then, noticing no one was there, went inside  
and dropped his things on the floor. Vegeta sat down in a bench in the toll booth, then leaned  
on his side and covered himself with his ripped blanket. He grabbed Pookee & hugged him.  
" Oh Pookee, this isn't fair. This shouldn't be happening to me. " he whined, " Stupid  
Kakarrotto, stupid everybody! I'm a prince! I'm royalty! I should be living in a castle or a  
mansion surrounded by servants and rule over millions of subjects, all of whom would love me and  
NEVER call me a monster no matter what! " he pouted, then smirked, " And if they did call me  
that I'd have them thrown in the dungeon and decapitated! " he shook his fist in the air.  
" ... " Pookee stared at him. Vegeta's expression went from cocky to depression.  
" You're right. I went off on a tangent again, sorry Pookee. " he said, hugging the bear  
tighter, " I bet they'd treat me differently if something...happened..to me. " Vegeta stared at  
the open window, a gust of cold air blew at him. Vegeta almost automatically got up, then walked  
towards the window & leaned his head out of it. His body shook as he climbed out of the window &  
onto the rung of the bridge, " I'll teach you to call me a _monster_ Kakarrot. " he said, his  
voice wobbling. He put one foot out, then stopped, " I CAN'T DO IT! I'M TOO IMPORTANT TO DIE! "  
he screamed to himself, then slipped & fell into the icy water below, the shock from the cold  
knocking him unconsious as he hit it.  
  
  
:::" V-sama, V-sama wake up! " a happy voice called out as Vegeta slowly opened his eyes  
to find himself in a large luxurious room. He sat up in the King-sized bed he was in and looked  
around, confused. He saw 3 figures standing in front of him. Kuririn & Yamcha were in butler  
suits, the third was Goku, wearing a maid's uniform. -_-;;  
" Are you alright V-sama? " Goku said, worried, " Is there anything I can get you?  
Anything at all? "  
Vegeta smiled widely at the welcome, sympathetic look on Goku's face, " Yes Kakarrot,  
yes there is. " he said, practically eating up all the attention he was getting, " I would like  
67 eggs, 43 pancakes, 2 dozen waffles--WITH butter ontop and bluberries baked inside, several  
pigs-worth of bacon and a super-sized bottle of maple syrup to pour all over it! "  
" As you wish V-sama. " Goku bowed his head, then teleported away and within seconds  
re-appeared holding a huge try of the desired breakfast foods. Vegeta grinned anxiously and went  
at the food, stuffing his face left & right.  
" Wow Kahkah-mphan, dis efh dewifous! " he squealed, swallowing a mouthful of food,  
" You're such a wonderful little servant! " Vegeta said, patting Goku on the head. The younger  
saiyajin smiled meekly at the prince.  
" Umm, V-sama? " he asked modestly, staring at the plate of food, " V-sama I was  
wondering-- "  
" Yes, Kaka-chan? " Vegeta smirked at him.  
Goku continued, " --well, if maybe I could..you know, " he said, now looking down at the  
floor.  
" Go ahead Kaka-chan, sweetie, don't be shy. " Vegeta snickered to himself, feeling quite  
entertained.  
Goku looked up at him & grinned, " Can I have some waffles too! "  
Vegeta was taken aback, " WHAT?! " he said, then hopped out of the bed and walked up to  
Goku, " YOU want to eat some of MY _ROYAL_ waffles? " he exclaimed, angry.  
Goku nodded eagerly, " I'm very hungry sir, and you have more than enough food there to  
feed a small country...so, would you mind if...if I just took a little nibble? Please? "  
" No! No you can NOT take a nibble Kakarrot! In fact, you aren't fit to eat the crumbs  
from my plate! " Vegeta said proudly to the other saiyajin, who's eyes began to water.  
" PLEASE V-sama? " Goku begged.  
" I SAID _NO_!!! " Vegeta roared at him. Goku narrowed his eyes and glared at the prince.  
" How could you starve me...you, you MONSTER! " he screamed back at Vegeta, who froze  
at the sound of the word.  
" Muh, monster? " Vegeta's eyes widened with shock as he backed into a mirror, then  
turned around to see a hairy, beastly creature staring back at him. He screamed, pointing at the  
reflection, " MONSTER!!!! ":::  
  
  
" AHH! AHH! AHH! I'M NOT A MONSTER! I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT! " Vegeta screamed in his  
sleep as his eyes flew open to see a big blue-ish blur in front of him, " AHH! IT'S THE MONSTER!  
IT'S STILL HERE! " he yelped, then paused as his eyes began to take everything back into focus  
to reveal he was once again sitting inside the tollbooth, an unfamiliar figure standing in front  
of him.  
" Well, I know I'm not as young as I used to be but I'm still no monster! " the figure  
exclaimed. Vegeta's eyes widened.  
" Hey, I recognize that baka voice! " he said, leaning towards the figure, " You're  
Kaio-sama! "  
" Ahh, *ahem*, correct. " Kaio-sama said, nodding, " Sheesh, I thought you'd never come  
to. Just lying there unconsious and drooling, pathetic. "  
" PATHETIC! " Vegeta yelled, " Hey, what are you doing here anyway? "  
" Dende's been swamped for the past several hours with complaints about you! In fact, he  
gets them everyday but you really messed up this time Vegeta. It's like black Friday up there. "  
Kaio-sama explained, then snorted, laughing, " You should hear some of the stuff they're saying  
about you! Especially Son, HAHA! Hoo! Talk about adding insult to injury. " he laughed. Vegeta's  
face turned red with embarassment.  
" Kakarrot was BADMOUTHING me? " Vegeta gawked, then grabbed Kaio-sama by the collar,  
" WHAT DID HE SAY! TELL ME NOW! " he said, shaking the blue kai back & forth. He stopped and  
pushed Kaio-sama back. Vegeta crossed his arms, " You know what? I don't CARE what Kakarrot said  
about me! I don't care what those other bakayaros said about me! They'll change their tune by  
tommorow morning. " he said.  
" What makes you think that? " Kaio-sama asked.  
" Obviously after they notice that I've "disappeared" their weak little conciences will  
cause them to start "worrying" about poor defenseless little me. " he mocked, " Then they'll  
start sending out search parties and screaming out into the wilderness "Vegeta where are you?"  
and "Veggie come back we need you!". " Vegeta rubbed his hands together, " And Kakarrot, yes,  
his cry I will relish the most of all of them, "little buddy I'm sorry I yelled at you, please  
come back to us I love you!". Then I'll sneak out of the bushes out there pretending I'm all  
hurt and they'll carry me back to Capsule Corp and waid on my "hurt" self hand and foot like the  
servants I was MEANT to have! "  
" If he only knew he was more of a trouble to them than a help. " Kaio-sama said to  
himself, shaking his head.  
" Trouble? " Vegeta smirked, overing Kaio-sama, " HA! Those idiots would be HELPLESS  
without ME around. They NEED me, especially Kakarrot. I'd hate to think we're he'd be without  
me. " he mused.  
" A lot better off. " Kaio-sama replied, then shot back as Vegeta went SSJ2.  
" YOU DON'T KNOW HALF OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! KAKARROTTO WOULD BE WORTHLESS IF I  
WAS NEVER AROUND! " Vegeta screamed.  
An amused smile crossed Kaio's face, " You mean, if you never existed. "  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow, " You can arrange that? " he said, interested.  
" Actually "scrooge", I can. " Kaio-sama answered, " I'm not sure Shin would like it  
though, it would take a lot of power to-- "  
" --OH WHO CARES ABOUT SHIN! " Vegeta yelled at him, " I want to see Kakarrot down on  
his knees on a street corner begging passers by for money. " he snickered.  
" Do you REALLY think that's what would've become of Son Goku if you had never been  
born? " Kaio-sama said sneakily.  
Vegeta nodded, " Of course! He NEEDS me. The dum little peasant wouldn't last an hour,  
not to mention a lifetime without having someone SMART around like me. "  
" God, what an ego. " Kaio-sama sweatdropped, " If I didn't know better I'd say all you  
got in that head of yours is a lot of hot air. " he said, then snapped his fingers.  
" JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE ME THERE! " Vegeta shouted as Kaio-sama walked past him and up to  
to the front door. He looked over his shoulder at the ouji.  
" I already have. " he said bluntly as a confused look covered Vegeta's face.  
" But I didn't see you do anything?! " he exclaimed.  
" That's what you think. " Kaio said, then yelped as Vegeta ran over him and up to the  
door. He flung the door open to see--absolutely nothing.  
" IT LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME! " Vegeta said, then put his hand out, " With the exception  
of the hail storm. " he noted.  
" It would seem that way, wouldn't it. " Kaio-sama said, walking out after him.  
" Nothing! Nothing except that stupid hail storm! It looks identical. " he whined,  
walking out onto the the bridge. A huge clap of thunder echoed from behind Vegeta, causing him to  
freeze in his tracks.  
Kaio-sama tapped him on the shoulder, smirking, " Look behind you. " he pointed in the  
other direction.  
Vegeta turned around and gawked. A dark, humongous castle stood off in the distance, the  
size of a large city. He walked across the bridge to the direction of the castle and stopped.  
He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on the castle, " Oh-kay, so maybe it's the hail storm AND  
the gigantic, ominous castle. I don't care. " he said cooly, then turned back in the opposite  
direction towards the city, " The only thing I care about finding is Kakarrot. " he said, walking  
back to the city, " You comin Kai? "  
" You're going in the wrong direction Vegeta. " Kaio-sama smiled.  
" Just follow me alright! " Vegeta said, not listening, " We have a lot of street  
corners to search for Kakarrot on, I'll need the help. "  
Kaio-sama shrugged, still smirking, and followed him, " You're going to need help more  
than you know Vegeta, much more than you know. "  
*************************************************************************************************  
5:36 PM 11/22/2001  
END OF PART ONE  
Vegeta: (still wearing the fuzzy reindeer ears and blinking red Rudolph nose)  
(to Chu) Is it just me, or did that end in a sort of ominous, danger-like, doom-impending way?  
Chuquita: (grinning) Yup.  
Vegeta: Proud of yourself, aren't you?  
Chuquita: (still grinning) Yup.  
Vegeta: (flatly) Something really bad is going to happen to me in "part 2", isn't it?  
Chuquita: Correct for the third time Veggie-brains!  
Goku: I love the holidays!  
Chuquita: Ahh, don't we all.  
Goku: (giggles, then plops a Christmas wreath around Vegeta's neck) Hee-hee-hee. [zips away]  
Vegeta: (looks down at the wreath, then slaps himself on the forehead) Why me!  
Chuquita: Why not?  
Vegeta: (sweatdrops) He always has to do this stuff to me! And he KNOWS I don't like it when he  
does! So WHY does he even do it!  
Chuquita: (rolls her eyes) Cuz he loves you, knucklehead.  
Vegeta: ... (pauses) Awwwwww, isn't that...sickeningly sweet of him.  
Goku: (drops music sheets in front of Chu & Veggie) Come on guys! It's caroling time!  
Time to go outside into the snowy night and sing Christmas Carols for all the happy people in  
town!  
Vegeta: (smirks) I guess he loves you too, eh, fellow caroler?  
Chuquita: (groans) Oh shut up. 


	2. Welcome to Kaka-sei; the happiest planet...

7:45 PM 11/23/2001  
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com  
By: Chuquita  
Quote of the Week: -From "Thrid Rock from the Sun"  
Dick: Oh no, you asked for surf-n-turf and they brought you steak and lobster!  
Mary: But Dick, that's what surf-n-turf is.  
Dick: I thought it was water and grass.  
  
Chuey's Corner:  
[Chuquita, Veggie, & Goku are standing outside of the Corner in their Christmas gear,  
Goku wearing a santa cap & grinning widely, Chu & Veggie exchange embarassed looks]  
Chuquita: (groans) This isn't fair, I shouldn't be dragged into this stuff, this is MY  
corner! This is MY fic! Yet Son-San manages to drag me out here to sing these stupid  
carols!  
Vegeta: (grins evilly) Welcome to my world.  
Chuquita: (narrows her eyes) Hey, you have to sing with us too "little buddy".  
Vegeta: (grumbles) Don't remind me.  
Goku: (plops a green santa cap on Vegeta's head) (happily) Veggie can be my little elf!  
(plops fuzzy reindeer antlers on Chu's head) And Chu-chan can be the reindeer!  
Chuquita: This is going to be a very painful day.  
Vegeta: (whining) Why do _I_ have to be the elf!  
Goku: (bends down to his height) Cuz elves are short and little and cute just like my little  
buddy Veggie is! (pushes in on Vegeta's nose like a button & grins) Beep!  
Vegeta: ... (grabs at his chest with one hand) (helpless) Oh mother...  
Chuquita: That one must've hurt.  
Vegeta: You have no idea....I'll NEVER be able to get out of this one NOW!  
Chuquita: (chucks the fuzzy reindeer antlers to the floor) (grins) I will. (zips off)  
Vegeta: HEY! YOU COME BACK HERE!  
  
  
Summary: It's the Christmas season and Veggie's pride has been shot down once again. He's offered  
a chance to see what would've happened if he never existed. The Ouji takes the offer, boasting  
how horrible Earth would be without him; but what he finds is something much more frightening  
then he ever dreamed of--Kakarrot ruling it.  
  
Ages:  
Bura-8  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
" That's strange. " Vegeta murmured as he wandered back into town, Kaio-sama behind him,  
" All the buildings around here--now they look a lot more like, like the ones back..home. " he  
finished, then scratched his head, confused.  
" Do you think there could be a reason for that? " Kaio-sama smirked as Vegeta glanced  
over his shoulder at the large blue kai.  
" No, it's probably just my imagination. " Vegeta said, brushing it off, " I'm the only  
saiyajin left who even REMEMBERS what Bejito-sei's cities looked like. "  
" Maybe, maybe not. "  
" Will you stop talking in riddles, it's starting to annoy me. " Vegeta grumbled.  
" Hey, you're the one who wanted to see how "lost and helpless" the world would be if you  
were never born. " Kaio-sama nodded.  
" Yeah, well, it better start getting a lot more helpless soon, I'm starting to think  
this was a stupid idea. " he said, then bumped into something, " HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GO--  
Piccolo? " Vegeta said, shocked.  
" HELLO "BUDDY"! " Piccolo said, an unusual Son Goku grin on his face as he held out his  
hand to the prince. Vegeta felt an eerie twilight zoneish aurora and slowly backed away from the  
namek, then walked around him.  
" Oh-kay.... " he said slowly, " That was weird. " he scratched his head, " Probably just  
a namek thing. " Vegeta said as he watched the green, antenneed Piccolo walk off.  
" JUST a namek thing? " Kaio-sama said, equally disturbed as he noticed the same doofy,  
frozen Goku smile on nearly everyone in the city, with the exception of him and Vegeta.  
" I'm scared. " Vegeta gulped, biting his lip.  
" Whatsat? " Kaio asked him.  
" I said if I weren't so GREAT AND POWERFUL I'd be scared--which I'm not. As in scared is  
something that I am not feeling right now because of my awesome powers and ablities. " Vegeta  
said to Kaio, partially trying to convince himself.  
" I wonder if there's a reason they're all smiling? " Kaio-sama pondered.  
" Those aren't SMILES, those are KAKARROT GRINS! " Vegeta snapped at him, then grabbed  
a nearby pedistrian, which happened to be Kuririn.  
" Hey baka, what's with all the stupid Kakarrot grins everyone has plastered on their  
faces! " Vegeta demanded to the short bald ex-monk, who was also smiling.  
" We've always smiled like this, buddy. " Kuririn answered.  
" Why wouldn't we be smiling, Kaka-sei is the happiest most perfect planet in this  
galaxy. " 18 chimed in, a Goku smile also planted on her usual skeptical face.  
Vegeta's face turned stark white, " Say that again? "  
" Kaka-sei. " 18 responded.  
" ... " Vegeta stood there, frozen.  
" He doesn't seem very happy? " 18 said, slighlty perplexed.  
" I'll say. " Kuririn added.  
Kaio-sama ran up to Vegeta, waving his hand in front of the saiyajin's face, " Vegeta?  
Vegeta! VEGETA! "  
" ... "  
" ... "  
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Vegeta  
let out an ear-piercing shriek of pure horror, the scream echoed throughout the entire city. His  
whole body was now shaking, as if in some sort of a seizure.  
" Oh no, here we go. " Kaio-sama sweatdropped.  
" Nope, not very happy at all. " 18 shook her head as she & Kuririn headed into a nearby  
store.  
" I..I..I feel like I just swallowed my brain. " Vegeta said in a weak, faraway voice. He  
turned to Kaio-sama, " What did she just call planet Earth again? "  
" Please, I'd rather not watch another one of your mental breakdowns. " Kaio-sama said,  
rubbing his now in-pain ears, " You could crack glass with that scream of yours. "  
" Planet, Earth? "  
Vegeta whipped around to see Yamcha, who was standing there, low and behold with a Goku  
grin covering his face.  
" Yes, thank God I heard wrong. " Vegeta rubbed the sweat off his brow, " This is planet  
Earth. "  
" Earth? No it isn't silly, this is planet Kakarrotto, or as our leader refers to it as,  
Kaka-sei. " Yamcha corrected him.  
" Planet...Kaka-kaka-kaka-ka ka ka...Kakarrotto? " Vegeta stuttered nervously.  
" Yes. " Yamcha responded.  
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---MMPHMMPH! " Kaio-sama promptly slapped  
his hand over Vegeta's mouth, silencing the prince's terrified shrieks.  
" Come on Vegeta, let's find someplace to rest before you have a heart-attack. "  
Kaio-sama said, slightly annoyied as he pulled the tramatized ouji back in the direction of  
Capsule Corp.  
" Ka-ka-kaka kakakakakaaaaaaa.... " Vegeta shivered.  
" Hoo-boy. This is going to be a long day. " Kaio-sama groaned.  
  
  
  
" Ahh, there's a welcome sight. " Vegeta smiled calmly as he stood in front of Capsule  
Corp. He clasped his hands together, " Those peasants back there might have all gone Kaka-crazy,  
but little B-chan's still on my side! "  
" Who? " Kaio-sama inquired.  
" Little B-chan! Bura! My daughter you big blue moron! " Vegeta exclaimed.  
" You don't have daughter Vegeta, you don't have any children. " Kaio-sama said just as  
Vegeta grabbed the doorknob to the house.  
" What? " Vegeta gakked as the door flung open to reveal Bulma's mother, who was grinning  
at him.  
" So, she's a victim of the "smile" epidemic too huh? " Kaio-sama said astutely.  
" No, Mrs. Briefs always smiles like that. " Vegeta said flatly, then turned back to  
Mrs. Briefs, " Say Mrs. Briefs, have you seen B-chan lately? I need to talk to her, it's  
important. "  
" B-chan? There isn't a B-chan here. " Mrs. Briefs said, confused.  
Vegeta smacked himself on the forehead, " Ahh, of course, my little B-chan! Obviously  
she went looking for me. " he said sweetly, then clasped his hands together, " Bless her little  
heart! " he said, then poked his head inside the doorway, " Say, uhh, Bulma isn't still MAD at  
me about that whole "upsetting Kakarrot" thing, is she? " Vegeta asked curiously.  
Mrs. Briefs yelped and tried to close the front door. Vegeta stuck his foot in the door,  
keeping it open only a couple inches.  
" You! You UPSET the Master! " she gasped, then said nervously, " You get out of here,  
you, you, whatever you are. " she shouted.  
" Master? What Master? What the heck are you talking about! " Vegeta demanded.  
" May God have mercy upon your soul! " Mrs. Briefs said in a hush voice, then slammed the  
door shut, catching Vegeta's foot in the process. Vegeta screamed out in pain as he pulled foot  
out of the doorway; Kaio-sama laughing at him.  
" YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T BLAST YOU! " Vegeta snapped at Kaio-sama, who quickly shut up. The  
prince walked off in the opposite direction of what should have been his home.  
" Master? " he said to himself, puzzled, " Say Kai, you wouldn't happen to know who this  
"master" is, would you? "  
" Hehheh*snort*heh. No. " Kaio-sama said, obviously lying.  
" Yeah, I didn't think so. " Vegeta said, believing him, " Eh, I'm going to Kakarrot's  
shack, maybe I can go sort things out there. " he said.  
Kaio-sama snickered, " Whatever you say. "  
  
  
  
" Normal. It looks perfectly NORMAL! " Vegeta said as he stared at the Son home, " I  
guess I didn't change Kakarrot's life at all. " he scratched his head, " But that can't be so!  
It looks exactly the same as it did before. Unlike Satin City back there. " Vegeta said, then  
shivered, " All those frozen Kako-smiles. Ech! " he cringed, " All dead and lifeless, like a  
doll's smile. "  
" You're starting to sound just like Mirai. " Kaio-sama remarked, causing Vegeta to  
sweatdrop. The prince shook his head, then walked over to where Goku's room was & looked up at  
it. His eyes widened.  
" Hey, the crack's gone. " he observed.  
" Crack? " Kaio-sama said.  
" When I came over, to talk to Kakarrot after I got kicked out of my home, he...he  
YELLED...yelled at me and he slammed the window down, hard. It sent a huge crack rippling through  
the glass and, it's not there anymore. " Vegeta said, perplexed.  
" Like I've been trying to tell you, it's not there because it never was there! "  
Kaio-sama said, " You never existed, you were never born! You were never born so you were never  
there to get kicked out of your house; or to get Goku mad enough to slam that window down. That's  
why there's no crack. " he explained, " You'll find it amazing how closely people, if not even,  
the mere acts that they perform each day affect tens of hundreds of other lives. We are so very  
closely knit together throughout the entire universe to a point where we cannot fathom how  
important we are. Take that dark scary castle for instance. "  
" What dark scary--HOLY SHIT! " Vegeta screamed as he looked up to see the huge castle  
from before ontop of the roof of the Son house, " WHAT IS THAT! AND WHERE DID IT COME FROM!  
WHO'S INSIDE IT!"  
" HEY! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE! "  
Vegeta & Kaio turned around to see a large group of guards.  
" THE MASTER WILL HAVE YOUR HEADS FOR INTRUDING! " one of the guards shouted.  
" Well Vegeta, " Kaio said to Vegeta, " I think we're about to find out the answer to  
that last question of yours. "  
" YEOW! " Vegeta yelped as one of the guards struck him with what looked like a large  
bug-zapper, " Yeah, well, this better be worth it. " he grumbled as they led the two inside.  
  
  
" Sire, we have brought you the two intruders. " Guard 1 said as he and the other guards  
stood behind Vegeta & Kaio-sama, who both had their hands tied behind their backs. Vegeta rolled  
his eyes skeptically.  
" If I wasn't so interested in finding out who this 'sire' of theirs is I would've broken  
these stupid ropes and blown up the entire blasted castle by now. " he grumbled.  
" Can you keep quiet for one minute? " Kaio-sama whispered loudly.  
" ..no. No I can't. " Vegeta smiled trumphently, " Nobody can shut up the GREAT AND  
POWERFUL SAIYAJIN NO OUJI! "  
" The "great and powerful" what? " the figure sitting on the large throne at the top of  
the stairs in front of them said. He spinned the throne around to face them, coming into the  
light.  
Vegeta's jaw dropped to the floor, " You gotta be kidding me... " he mumbled to himself  
as he gazed up at the figure, " KAKARROT! "  
The figure slowly walked down the stairs wearing royal attire, including a large crown &  
long cape trailing behind him. He smiled slyly, " And who might you be? "  
" Kakarrot what are you doing here? " Vegeta said, then broke the ropes holding his hands  
, to Kakarrot's surprise. He walked up to meet him halfway on the stairs, " And why are you  
wearing that ridiculous costume! Who do you think you are? A KING? "  
" I AM a King you, you, PEASANT! " Kakarrot snorted as Vegeta froze.  
" WHAT...DID...YOU CALL ME?! " he said in both anger and shock.  
" You heard me, peasant. Now get out of my sight or I shall hang you this moment! " the  
'King' warned, pointing his finger past Vegeta and to the exit.  
" You're no "king", Kakarrot. _I'M_ the saiyajin no ouji, the ONLY royal saiyajin left,  
baka. " Vegeta crossed his arms stubbornly.  
Kakarrot looked at him, confused, then quickly ran up to the large glass window above  
his throne & fearfully looked upward. After a second or two he sighed with relief, then chuckled  
a bit. Vegeta stared at Kakarrot curiously and flew towards where he was standing. He landed.  
" What's so funny? " Vegeta raised an eyebrow.  
" You had me worried for a moment there, you made it sound like Bejito-sei had just  
disappeared or something. " Kakarrot smiled, still staring in the direction of the sky.  
" Beji--of COURSE it disappeared you idiot, Freezer blew it up years ago! " Vegeta yelled  
at him, feeling a slight sting of pain as he said it.  
" No he didn't, we defeated him; WITH the help of my superior brain of course. " Kakarrot  
smirked, " I had formulated a machine that had paralized him while King Bejito, Queen Ruby, and  
the rest of their soldiers along with the townspeople disposed of him. " he bragged. Vegeta  
stared at him, shocked, " To thank me for my help they've been sending me techonology from our  
home planet to aid me in conquering "Earth". "  
Vegeta watched the sky above him, sure enough, there was a bright round object in its  
familiar spot, " It's...still there. " he said in a small voice, " My home, my friends, my family  
, they're all still there. "  
" So, you're from Bejito-sei? " Kakarrot looked at him with uncertainty.  
" OF COURSE I AM! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING TO A WORD I SAID! I AM THE PRINCE OF THE  
SAIYAJINS! KING BEJITO'S SON! " Vegeta snapped at him, then drew back as Kakarrot looked at him  
sternly.  
" That is a lie, the King and Queen have no son. They don't have ANY children. " he said,  
then paused, " How old are you? "  
" 35. "  
" HA! Lier! If you were really their son I would've met, or at least seen you at the  
palace when I was still a toddler. I used to live there and I know for a fact that there was NO  
Prince. " Kakarrot pointed out.  
" But you DO know me, Kakarrot! " Vegeta half-pleaded, " Heck, I played with you all the  
time, I broke half your little Kako-creations in the process! You were so mad at me that right  
before you left for Earth I took stole your plans to take over the blasted planet & flushed them  
down the toilet! You ended up falling off that cliff out there, cracking your head open which  
turned you into an idiot; Freezer kidnapped me and blew up Bejito-sei and I didn't see you for  
nearly another 25 years! " Vegeta exploded the words out in one breath.  
" All lies my friend. " Kakarrot said, whipping a rolled up, yellow paper out of his  
pocket, " I have the plans right here. " he answered, " GUARDS! SEIZE HIM! " he ordered as the  
large group of guards tackled Vegeta, grabbing him.  
" Oh no. " Vegeta said in realization, " I can't believe it, I caused the events that  
saved the Earth from being taken over by Kakarrotto. But at the same time I was also the cause of  
Freezer's advantage over MY home and without me he would've been defeated way before I even-- "  
" --OH WILL YOU SHUT UP! " Kakarrot whined, " What an annoying little man. Guards! Take  
him to my dungeon. "  
" DUNGEON! KAKARROT! WHADDA YOU MEAN DUNGEON! YOU HAVE NO DUNGEON! "  
  
  
" So he has a dungeon. Big deal. " Vegeta said as he sat in the corner of one of the  
dark, damp cells, " _I_ had an even BIGGER dungeon back home. Kakarrot's dungeon doesn't even  
have a bathroom or a window. " he boasted.  
" Incredible, after seeing all this you STILL aren't convienced how horrible Earth is  
without you; what an ego. " Kaio-sama said with disqust.  
" What's to be mad about? My parents actually destory Freezer instead of STUPID Kakarrot,  
my planet and subjects are still very much intact, Kakarrot gets a STUPID medal of "honor" and  
takes over Earth--turning it into one big happy Kako-paradise! I'M NOT MAD, KAI! I'm...I'm  
MISERABLE! " Vegeta wailed, burying his face in his hands, " EVERYONE'S SO MUCH HAPPIER WITHOUT  
ME! I DIDN'T DESTROY KAKARROT'S LIFE BY NOT BEING BORN! HE'S HAPPY THIS WAY!  
I RUINED IT BY MERELY EXISTING! " he sobbed.  
" Well I can't get you back TO EXISTING until you realize your own self-worth. "  
Kaio-sama shook his head.  
" Eh? " Vegeta said.  
" Ugh--we won't be able to go home until you get mad. "  
" HOW CAN I BE! Kakarrot saved my parents! He saved my planet! If I didn't hate him so  
much I would congradulate him! " Vegeta exclaimed.  
" That will be YOUR honor. "  
Vegeta looked up to see Kakarrot smiling at him from the other side of the bars, not the  
doofy smile on the faces of the people he met in town; the one normally trademarked by Kakarrot,  
but more intellegent smile, one that was mocking Vegeta on purpose.  
"A slightly hurt look crossed Vegeta's face in reaction to the cruel smile. He growled  
angrily, " Whadda do you want. " Vegeta said flatly.  
" I came down here to offer you decision. " Kakarrot answered, still smiling, " You  
see, normally I would just have your head cut off and your body thrown into the pit of dispair,  
but for you I will make an exception. "  
Vegeta elbowed Kaio-sama, " You hear that Kai, Kakarrot has finally realized that I am  
royalty and has decided to hand the entire planet over to me! "  
" You're living in a dream world Vegeta. " Kaio-sama said plainly. Vegeta looked at him,  
confused.  
" I like your spirit, you have that annoying, persistant personality. " Kakarrot said as  
Vegeta nodded in agreement, a proud smirk on his face. Kakarrot clasped his hands together, " And  
that is why I would like you to be one of my servants! "  
Vegeta's jaw dropped to the floor. Kaio-sama backed up.  
" Oh boy, he's really done it now! " Kaio-sama gulped.  
" Ah..I...ah..uh... " Vegeta stood there in shock, unable to speak.  
Kakarrot looked at his watch, " I'll give you the night to think if over, when you agree  
in the morning, I'll be sure to have a uniform for you upstairs. " he said, then turned around  
only to smack right into another familiar face.  
" OWW! Watch where you're going you big ape! " Vegeta recognized the voice instantly.  
" ONNA! " he squealed.  
" Sorry dear, I really am, you're right, I should watch where I'm going more carefully. "  
Kakarrot bowed humbly, " I apoligize my Queen. "  
Vegeta's jaw dropped to the floor for the second time. Kaio-sama sweatdropped at the  
sight.  
" And WHAT is THIS THING! " Bulma said, pointing to Vegeta.  
" Oh, he's going to be one of our new servants my Queen. He's short, he'll be able to  
get through tighter squeezes in the castle. " Kakarrot responded.  
" I don't like him, he smells. " Bulma said to Kakarrot while staring at Vegeta.  
Vegeta grabbed her by the collar, " Bulma! Bulma listen to me! You've got to get me out  
of here! You're the only one who doesn't have that blasted Kako-smile on their face, you HAVE  
to listen to me! I'm your husband! "  
Bulma shrieked and pushed him back, causing Vegeta to fall down upon his rear end.  
" YOU SICKO! Kakarrot is my husband! That makes me Queen and I should end your miserable  
life right now! " she screamed, then started to roll up her sleeve as if getting ready to punch  
him.  
" No! You can't do that now. " Kakarrot said. Vegeta looked half-relieved, " You can hit  
him tommorow, when it's llegal. "  
Vegeta sweatdropped. Kakarrot & Bulma left, closing the door to the dungeon behind them.  
" This...this can't be happening to me... " Vegeta trailed off, tears welling up in his  
eyes, " Bulma and that BAKA! HOW! " he sniffled, " WHAT HAPPENED TO YAMCHA?! "  
" They banished me because I wouldn't smile. " Yamcha's voice came from a nearby cell.  
Vegeta poked his head out of the cage to see Yamcha in the corner of another cage, " The King  
has cracked man, he's lost his mind. " Yamcha said in a faraway voice, " DOWN WITH THE OPPRESSORS  
! DOWN! DOWN! DOW--YAAHHHH!!! " he screamed as a door in the floor opened up, causing Yamcha to  
fall through it.  
" Hoo-boy, this is not good. " Vegeta said, worried.  
" Nope! It looks pretty bad, doesn't it! "  
Vegeta looked down to see a little girl smiling happily up at him. She looked practically  
identical to Bura, with the exception of her jet-black hair & eyes along with a saiyajin tail  
dangling behind her.  
" Little B-chan? " he murmured, then bent down to the girl & stared at her, gaping.  
" Yeah? " she answered back.  
" AHA! " Vegeta screamed with joy, " It IS you! You followed us here in disquse to save  
me and take me back home! Oh thank you Bura! "  
" My name's not Bura, I'm Buru, I'm a princess! " she said proudly.  
" Awww, little B-chan's just as cute here as she was at home! " Vegeta said sweetly as  
Kaio-sama made fake vomitting noises.  
" BURU! DON'T TALK TO THE PRISONERS! " Kakarrot yelled from the doorway.  
Buru made a pouty face at Vegeta, then turned to the doorway, " Sorry Toussan! "  
Vegeta's jaw nearly fell to the floor for a thrid time, had it not been for Kaio-sama  
slapping it shut halfway down.  
" He's..you're his....KAKARROT IS MY LITTLE B-CHAN'S NEW TOUSSAN!?! THIS CAN'T BE  
HAPPENING! " he screamed, " No WONDER she looks more like a saiyajin now; she has Kakarrot's  
BAKA genes in her blood! " he shook his fists in pain, " THIS IS HORRIBLE! B-CHAN'S ONE OF _THEM_  
NOW!  
Buru laughed, " I like you, you're silly. " she pointed to Vegeta.  
" There's one way of putting it. " Kaio-sama muttered to himself.  
" Toussan used to be silly too. " she said, her voice saddening. Vegeta stared at her,  
full-attention, " That is until his ego blew up. "  
" Blew up? " Vegeta said curiously.  
" Well, after Toussan took over Earth, he did a lot of stuff that made everybody happy.  
He was happy, Kaasan was happy, all of us were happy. But then one day Mr. Piccolo got mad at him  
because he wanted to rule Earth instead. He got a whole big group of people rallied with him too.  
Then Toussan became super-angry and his ego blared out of control. He created this machine that  
would zap any of the peasants if they got a bad thought or became angry about anything. And just  
to make sure they wouldn't he sent them all through another machine to make everyone smile so he  
wouldn't have to look at any grumpy faces. " Buru answered.  
" So that explains all those frozen Kako-smiles on everyone, " Vegeta thought outloud.  
" He used his smile machine on nearly everybody on the whole planet except Kaasan,  
himself, and I. " Buru said, " But I don't think he's happy himself at all. He's miserable.  
It's like he's missing something. You know, like a best pal or a best friend or a-- "  
" --little buddy? " Vegeta finished as the two stared at each other.  
" What's a little buddy? " Buru asked.  
" A little buddy is, according to that big bakayaro, "somebody who's just like a brother  
to you who's not blood-related and treats you like you're something special". " Vegeta quoted  
Goku.  
" Aww, that's so cute. " Buru said.  
" Yeah, that's Kakarrot for ya. " Vegeta grumbled to himself, " Well, _my_ Kakarrot  
anyway. The big idiot. " he rolled his eyes.  
" I bet if Toussan had one of those he'd stop being so mean and go back to being nice  
to all the peasants again. " Buru smiled thoughtfully. She turned to Vegeta, " You don't happen  
to know any of these "little buddies", do you? "  
Vegeta choked out a short laugh, " Ha, I AM one. " he chuckled to himself, then instantly  
thought of enraged and hurt look on Goku's face as he slammed his bedroom window down at Vegeta.  
The ouji quieted down, " Or, at least, I think--hope I still am. " he used a softer and slightly  
humbler tone.  
" Haha! That's great! " Buru grabbed Vegeta by the pantleg, " This means you can be  
Toussan's little buddy and then he can be happy again! And when he's happy he'll change all the  
peasants back! You'd save the whole planet! " she said, " Oh thank you--uh, I never got your  
name. "  
Vegeta hesitated, then smiled, " Veggie. "  
" Oh thank you Veggie! You're my hero! " she said.  
Vegeta groaned, " What did I just get myself into. "  
*************************************************************************************************  
11:05 PM 11/30/01  
END OF PART 2  
Chuquita: [back at the Corner desk] *whew* (heaves a sigh) Big explanatory parts take a lot  
out of ya.  
Vegeta: [sitting on the chair next to her] Tell me about it.  
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE!  
Vegeta: I'm hiding from Kakarrot. There is no way I'm going Christmas Caroling with him.  
Chuquita: You can't do that, you're his little buddy. (dramatically) It'll break his little  
"Kako"-heart!  
Vegeta: (buying into it) It WILL?  
Chuquita: (nods, smirking)  
Vegeta: Poor little Kaka-chan...HEY! WAITAMINUTE! WHAT ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE!  
Chuquita: (shock) Duh... Well, this IS my Corner, I have a right to be here.  
Vegeta: You're trying to get out of Kakarrot's stupid Caroling too, [folds his arms] aren't you.  
Chuqutia: ...yes.  
Vegeta: [points at her] HA! I KNEW IT! YOU _ARE_ TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT!  
Chuquita: *sighs* Oh-kay, so I don't wanna go out in the middle of the night in the freezing cold  
wearing stupid reindeer ears and sing carols to complete strangers!  
Vegeta: When you put it that way...the whole thing DOES sound mortifying, doesn't it?  
Chuquita: Yeah, I know.  
Vegeta: Well, we'll just have to tell Kakarrot that we don't want to go on his little caroling  
spree.  
Chuquita: (nods) Right!  
Vegeta: (meekly) Now go tell him off.  
Chuquita: WHAT?! I'M NOT GOING TO TELL OFF SON-SAN! IT WAS YOUR IDEA! YOU DO IT!  
Vegeta: ME?! I can't do that! Kakarrot will hate me forever!  
Chuquita: That's never stopped you before.  
Vegeta: (exclaims) But I don't WANT him to hate me forever!  
Chuquita: Well neither do I, I like Son-San; but that doesn't mean I should have to do this  
caroling thing.  
Vegeta: Fine! Be a big baby, I'LL go tell Kaka--[turns around, only to smack into something]  
[looks up to see Goku]  
Goku: (happily) Oh! Hi little buddy Veggie who loves me so much! Guess what I got for you! [drops  
a Veggie-sized wreath around Vegeta's neck] Isn't it cute! You can wear it when we go out  
caroling. I left Chu-sama's in the car, I'll go get it! [runs out to the parking lot]  
Vegeta: ... (speechless)  
Chuquita: Veggie? Vedge? You oh-kay?  
Vegeta: (bawls) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL NEVER BE  
ABLE TO TELL HIM NOW! (sobs) WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO NICE TO ME!! IT'S NOT FAIR!  
Chuquita: (groans) Something tells me this is gonna take a while. See you in part 3 everybody. 


	3. Santa Claus IS real!

1:58 PM 12/1/01  
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com  
By: Chuquita  
Quote of the Week: -from "Space Ghost Coast to Coast"  
STEVE ALLEN: Yes, of course, I need a street, and I need at least one man.  
You have a sample man for me?   
SPACE GHOST: Only the samplest. Brak? (music begins)   
  
Chuey's Corner:  
Chuquita: Hi again and welcome to part 3. Veggie & I are still trying to  
get out of having to go Christmas Caroling w/Son-San, but we really don't  
wanna hurt his feelings so it's harder to do than usual.  
Vegeta: *sniffles* I bet he used his hard-earned Kako-money to buy this wreath.  
[points to the wreath around his neck] And now I have to tell him I can't go on his  
stupid caroling thing with him! *sniffle* I can't do that!  
Chuquita: (worried) Maybe I should try. If we don't say something soon we'll be stuck  
caroling all night!  
Door: *KNOCK*KNOCK*!  
Vegeta: (gulps) You answer it this time.  
Chuquita: Alright. [opens the door to see Goku standing there in a santa suit; minus the  
beard; with song-books in his hands]  
Goku: (happily) Hi Chu-sama! I got caroling books for me, Veggie & you! (face saddens) I  
had to scrape together the money for them from under the cushions in my couch, (smiles) but  
that doesn't matter! I got 'um didn't I Chu-chan!  
Chuquita: (with a hurt look on her face) ..ouch. [sluggishly walks back over to Veggie] I see  
what you mean.  
Vegeta: What? Whad he say?  
Chuquita: He, he, he paid for the song-books with money he SCRAPED OUT OF HIS FURNITURE CUSHIONS!  
(sobs)  
Vegeta: (also sobbing) That's so heartbreaking! Kaka-chan used nearly the last of his money on  
US! And we don't even wanna go!  
Goku: [peering over them] (innocently) "Don't even wanna go" where?  
Vegeta: (sweats nervously) Uh, uh, uh--  
Chuquita: (elbows Vegeta in the ribs) (whispering loudly) Tell him!  
Vegeta: (gulps) Kakarrot we don't wanna go Christmas Caroling with you!  
Goku: ...  
Chuquita: We both agreed on it. It's too cold and too embrassing Son-San. We're sorry.  
Goku: ...  
Vegeta: Please don't hate us.  
Goku: ... (breaks into a grin) AWWWWW!! Now how could I hate my little buddy! [grabs Vegeta &  
hugs him]  
Vegeta: (snarls) KAKARROT LET GO OF ME RIGHT NOW!  
Chuquita: You mean you're not mad at us Son-Kun?  
Goku: Mad? Nahhh! Besides, if we're up all night Santa'll never stop by the Corner & we'll miss  
him completely, that would be horrible!  
Vegeta: (sarcastically) Yeah, just terrible.  
Chuquita: (confused) But, but you said you had to scrape out, your last coins from in your couch  
to pay for the caroling books!  
Goku: No I didn't, I borrowed the books from Bulma's house. When I went home to get my Santa suit  
Chi-Chi made me help her clean the living room or she wouldn't allow me to go over to get them.  
Chuquita: Oh...well, that makes sense...sorta. I guess.  
Goku: And now on with Part 3!  
  
Summary: It's the Christmas season and Veggie's pride has been shot down once again. He's offered  
a chance to see what would've happened if he never existed. The Ouji takes the offer, boasting  
how horrible Earth would be without him; but what he finds is something much more frightening  
then he ever dreamed of--Kakarrot ruling it.  
  
Ages:  
Bura-8  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
" Are you sure you should be doing this? " Kaio-sama asked as Buru continued saw the  
bars to the jail-cell in half.  
" My little B-chan can do anything she WANTS! " Vegeta snapped at Kaio.  
" She isn't yours to begin with. " the Kai muttered.  
" WHAT WAS THAT! " Vegeta shouted angrily.  
" WELL IT'S TRUE! THAT ISN'T BURA! THIS CHILD ISN'T EVEN RELATED TO YOU! "  
" BURU! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WHAT'S HAPPENING DOWN THERE?! " Kakarrot's voice exclaimed from  
the top of the staircase.  
The three figures froze.  
" Uhh, NOTHING TOUSSAN! I'M OH-KAY! " Buru cried back, then sighed with relief as  
Kakarrot closed the door behind him & left, " Ohhh, that was close. "  
" MORE than close. " Kaio-sama remarked.  
Vegeta looked at Buru sadly as she struggled with the hacksaw on the bars, " Here B-chan,  
I can do that. " he smiled, then grabbed the bars with his hands & cracked them in two. Buru  
lept back in shock as Vegeta hopped out, followed by Kaio-sama.  
" What's the matter? " Vegeta said, looking at her curiously.  
" I've never seen anyone as strong as you before! " she murmured.  
Vegeta scratched his head for a moment, then got struck by a thought, " Hey! " ::If  
Kakarrot never got amnesia and never went off to train with Kuririn and that old guy, then that  
means that he's probably only as strong as the rest of the people around here:: " That's why he  
had guards come after me instead of doing it himself. ::And if that's true, then that means that  
he never became a--:: " --Super Saiyajin... " an evil smirk crossed Vegeta's face.  
" A what? " Buru looked at him oddly.  
" Hmm? " Vegeta noticed her.  
" What's a "Super Saiyajin"? " she asked, confused.  
" Oh--that's not important right now. " Vegeta laughed nervously, ::But I will have to  
remember that for later. This knowledge could come in handy::  
" Come on, let's go see Toussan. " Buru said, grabbing Vegeta's hand & heading up the  
stairs.  
" Won't Kakarrot get angry when he finds you helped bust us out of this skanky,  
poorly-made dungeon? " Vegeta said suspicously.  
" Oh, I'll just tell him Kaasan told me to, he believes every word I say! " Buru smiled.  
  
  
  
" Toussan! Toussan! It's me! Open up! " Buru shouted as she banged her fist against the  
door to Kakarrot's room. The tall saiyajin opened the door & looked down at her. He smiled  
happily at her. The smile's familiarity instantly made Vegeta feel more comfortable.  
" Hello Buru. " Kakarrot said, bending down to her height. He looked up at Vegeta & Kaio  
and glared, " What are THEY doing here? "  
" Toussan! They're not "THEY". This is Mr. Kaio-sama. " she said, pointing to the kai,  
" And this is Veggie! " she added, pointing to Vegeta.  
Kakarrot stared at Vegeta, slightly bewildered, " Veggie? "  
Vegeta grinned at the Goku-like reaction, " HI KAKA-CHAN! I MISSED YOU! "  
" EXCUSE me? " Kakarrot narrowed his eyes at Vegeta, who's face turned red with  
embrassment. In the backround Kaio-sama shook his head, mortified, " You must be pretty new to  
this little dustball to think you could call your King something so, so, buddy-like! "  
" Buddy? " Vegeta said in a small voice.  
" Actually, that's why I brought Veggie here. " Buru interupted, " You've seemed really  
depressed lately and I decided you needed somebody to cheer you up; like a little buddy. And  
Veggie's a little buddy, so I thought he could so some of the cheering for you. "  
" A little buddy? You mean like a sidekick or a servant? " Kakarrot said to Buru.  
" Well, I, I guess. " Buru said.  
Kakarrot looked the shorter saiyajin up & down, " Well, I was planning on making him  
a servant in the first place.... " he pondered, " Eh, I like his face, alright then. Sure Buru,  
he can be my "little buddy". "  
Buru beamed a smile up at Kakarrot, who nodded to her, then turned & headed down the hall  
, leaving the three standing there. Kakarrot stopped & looked over his shoulder, annoyied,  
" WELL!? Are you coming or not? " he said to Vegeta, who just shrugged & followed him.  
Kaio-sama sweatdropped, " I give him, 2, 3 minutes--tops. "  
  
  
" Welcome to my CONQUEST ROOM! " Kakarrot announced as he flung open the doors to reveal  
a humongous room that was nearly empty with the exception of a large rectangular object in the  
middle of it. The globe-like walls & ceiling were covered in flat monitors.  
" I think I liked it better when you were eager just to show me one of your little  
Kako-toys. " Vegeta mumbled to himself.  
" Toy? " Kakarrot turned around to face him, then chuckled, " "Little buddy", this is  
no mere "toy". THIS is the room in which I shall plot my conquest of this entire galaxy! " he  
said, then flipped a switch, causing millions of little lights to appear in the dark blue  
monitors, simulating a night sky. Vegeta looked about the room in wonder.  
" Wow, you did pretty well without me. " Vegeta said sadly, " In fact, you're VERY well  
off without me. "  
" If you are hoping to share in my conquest, "little buddy", you can forget about it. "  
Kakarrot said sternly, " I'm planning to stretch my planetary conquest to Mars. My brother over-  
-threw it several years ago, the copycat! Well I'll teach him a thing or two. "  
" RADITZ HAS HIS OWN PLANET TOO!? " Vegeta gawked.  
" Hmm? Of course he does. Nearly EVERY saiyajin who has the money &/or strength has  
followed my example. " he said, frustrated, " Sometimes I wish they were all gone so I wouldn't  
have to compete with them like this! " Kakarrot groaned, then sighed & started to tap out keys  
on the machine. Vegeta stood on his toes & peeked over Kakarrot's shoulder. Kakarrot, noticing  
Vegeta's presence, growled, aggrivated. He glared at the smaller saiyajin over his shoulder.  
" DO YOU MIND! " he snapped at him. Vegeta put his feet back on the ground & stared down  
at them, hurt & somewhat embrassed.  
Kakarrot looked at him sadly, " I'm...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you without  
a reason, it was wrong. "  
Vegeta smiled at him.  
" BUT YOU DO IT AGAIN AND I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD! " Kakarrot screamed angrily, then calmed  
down, " Come over here, I'll show you how it works, uhm--Veh..umm-- " he paused, forgeting the  
other saiyajin's name.  
" Vegeta. But Veggie works too. "  
" Hmm, what an odd nickname. Veggie. " Kakarrot chuckled, " You come up with that all by  
yourself? "  
" No. Kaka-- " Vegeta froze, " --my big buddy did. " he answered, " It's a stupid baka  
nickname. I, I don't know even why I let him call me something degrading like that. " he said in  
denial as he folded his arms & turned his head the other way, " Veggie, Vedge-head, Veggie-brains  
little...buddy Veggie... " he trailed off, loneliness setting in. He shook it off, " He, he had  
a million of those stupid names for me. " Vegeta detested.  
" I count that he didn't like you very much? " Kakarrot said, still paying attention to  
the laser keyboard in front of him.  
" No, actually, he was very fond of me. " Vegeta managed a small smile, " I don't know  
why. I don't think I ever will. Kaka--my big buddy always looked at me like I was special, you  
know. Always smiling at me with that stupid grin on his face for no good reason at all. I  
couldn't understand him. Maybe I am special. Maybe it was just all in his stupid Kako-head.  
I dunno. I don't know anything anymore. "  
" I think YOU'RE stupid for worrying over such petty things. Look here. " Kakarrot said  
as Vegeta looked upward. there was a small red dot on where Kaka-sei was, " Now here is our  
position. Now I have a laser that is just powerful enough, to send waves that will engulf Mars's  
planet, brainwashing all those there into chosing me to rule over them. Then I shall use their  
technology to continue the path. " he said as a red dot appeared on Mars and then continued onto  
all the other dots on the board, " The problem is it will take too long. " Kakarrot rubbed his  
chin.  
" Why don't you just battle them all. You HAVE enough soldiers. " Vegeta said. Kakarrot  
looked at him like he had just sprouted antlers.  
" BATTLE? ARE YOU CRAZY! I am a genius! Battle is for the brute and the stupid. " he  
schoffed at the idea.  
" STUPID?! " Vegeta roared, going SSJ2, " IS _THIS_ STUPID TOO?! "  
" EEK! " Kakarrot shrieked, leaping back, " YOU'RE--YOU'RE--YOU'RE A, A, _THE_ SU--SU--SU  
--SU-PAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPER SA-SA-SAY-HAY-HAY-YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! "  
Vegeta snickered at him, then leaned his hand ontop of the keyboard, unawarily pressing  
in multiple keys, " Well Kakarrot, that's the first REAL intellegent thing I've heard you say  
since I got here. "  
" AHHH!!! " Kakarrot shrieked in horror.  
" Hmm, what's the matter Kakarrot? Have you realized that you are no match for I, THE  
GREAT AND POWERFUL SAIYAJIN NO OUJI! Why, with my power, I wouldn't surprised if you were ready  
to hand over the whole PLANET to me right this second. " Vegeta boasted.  
" YOU FOOL! "  
Vegeta's eyes popped out of their sockets, " Wha? " he said, confused.  
Kakarrot ran over to Vegeta & shoved him out of the way, " YOU IMBECILE! WHAT DID YOU DO  
TO MY CONTROL PANEL! " he quickly scanned the keys, then gasped, " Oh no, oh no oh no oh no! " he  
said, then rapidly tried to fix things. Vegeta looked upwards at the sky-lit screens, only to  
notice various dots on the board were now disappearing.  
" I hope that's not a bad thing. " he muttered to himself. Kakarrot reacted by also  
glancing upward. He shrieked again.  
" YOU! YOU IDIOT! YOU BAKAYARO! " he shouted at Vegeta.  
" So the lights went out, big deal. " Vegeta shrugged it off.  
" THEY DIDN'T JUST GO OUT! THEY WENT OUT BECAUSE YOU JUST BLEW THEM _UP_!!! " Kakarrot  
screamed, enraged.  
Vegeta sweatdropped, " I.... "  
" YOU HIT THE SELF-DETENATING BUTTONS ON THE CONTROL PANEL! ONES I HAVE RIGGED UP TO  
VARIOUS PLANETS I AM GOING TO CONQURE! Or, WAS--UNTIL YOU SMASHED THEM TO BITS! "  
Vegeta narrowed his eyes at Kakarrot. The expression on the taller saiyajin's face was  
so unrecognizable by now the prince had no problem with smartmouthing him back, " HOW _DARE_ YOU  
TALK TO YOUR PRINCE LIKE THAT YOU POOR THIRD-CLASS EXCUSE FOR A PEASANT! "  
" Ha ha, peasant? PEASANT, did you say? " Kakarrot laughed at Vegeta with a psychotic  
glint in his eye. He stood erect & coolly snapped his fingers once. Vegeta tilted his head to  
one side, curious at Kakarrot's calm reaction. The ouji yelped as he felt something poke him in  
the neck, causing him to faint. Kakarrot nodded to the large guard who had inflicted the state  
of unconsiousness upon the prince. He looked down at Vegeta & smiled, " You may BE a prince, my  
friend, and I don't know about your planet, but on mine, the prince shall ALWAYS bow to the  
KING. "  
  
  
" Ohhhhhhhh... " Vegeta groaned. He opened his eyes to see a white light, " Wha, what's  
happening? Where am I? AND WHERE'S KAKARROT?! "  
" I'm right here Veggie. " Kakarrot smirked as he stood beside Vegeta, who was strapped  
to a board, his wrists & ankles cuffed onto it. A large machine loomed over Vegeta's head. The  
ouji looked around. He was in a bright white room. Above him he could see a large audiance all  
staring down at them, big frozen Goku smiles on their faces.  
Vegeta glared at him, " You're not MY Kakarrot! YOU'RE A MO-- " his body shot back, but  
being strapped to the board caused it the effect to be little more than several violent shudders,  
" --A Mo--A MONSTER! " he shouted, the irony of the word he had just uttered made the scene seem  
surreal to him.  
" A "monster". What an elementary-school vocabulary you have. " Kakarrot snickered.  
" WHERE AM I! " Vegeta demanded.  
" Heh..so "to the point", aren't you? " Kakarrot chuckled, shaking his head, " Why,  
you're in my CHAMBER OF PAIN!!! " he shouted in a low, deep voice as the room suddenly became  
dark, a bolt of lightning crashed in the backround; the room quickly zipped back to normal; Or as  
I like to call it, the Smile Room. "  
" Konk on the head or no konk on the head he's still a couple screws loose. " Vegeta  
mumbled to himself, then looked at Kakarrot curiously, " Why would you nickname this the "smile  
room"? " he said, " As if I had to ask. " he added.  
" Well, let me put it this way. " Kakarrot clasped his hands together, " No one leaves  
here without a smile on their face--PERMANENTLY. " he narrowed his eyes at Vegeta. The fog had  
just cleared in the ouji's mind, setting off all the alarms to an alert.  
" AHH! THIS IS THAT KAKO-GRIN MACHINE LITTLE B-CHAN TOLD ME ABOUT! " he shrieked.  
" Ooh, good answer. " Kakarrot said, humoring him, " Would you like to try for a bonus  
question? "  
" I'd LIKE to go home now. " Vegeta said sternly.  
" Oh you can't go yet, you short little fool. You think you can just come here, blast  
several planets into oblivion, badmouth ME, and think you can get away with it? HA! Well after  
I'm done with you you won't be able to badmouth anybody. " Kakarrot laughed evilly, then ordered,  
" EXECUTOR! "  
" Executor??? " Vegeta gulped as a figure dressed in black entered the room. A black  
sheet over its head, with the exception of the eye & moutholes.  
" Hello sir. " the figure bowed to Kakarrot.  
" Hello Chi-Chi. " Kakarrot nodded slightly to her.  
" CHI-CHI!? " Vegeta yelped.  
The figure took off her mask & dropped it to the floor to reveal Vegeta to be correct,  
" And you would be? " she smirked.  
" Uh--uhh-uhh... " Vegeta was at a loss for words.  
" Chi-Chi, this little "monster" here has caused me more trouble than I care to speak of.  
I want you to turn the machine up to full blast on this one. " Kakarrot simply said.  
Even Chi-Chi looked slightly stunned, " Full blast?... " she quickly glanced over at  
Vegeta, " Oh-kay. It's his funeral. " she shrugged, then moved over to the machine & turned a  
crank. She smiled at the knob, " Off to the point of no return. " she said, then grabbed a lever  
& held it. Kakarrot gave her the signal.  
" Now. " he said to Chi-Chi.  
" With pleasure. " she responded, then pulled down the lever as Vegeta felt a blast of  
light around him, nearly blinding the ouji.  
" AHHH! KAKARROT NO! DON'T! " Vegeta screamed, pleading with him, only to hear Kakarrot's  
maniacal laughter, " HELP!! KAIO-SAMA! B-CHAN!!! MAKE HIM STOP! " he wailed, beginning to feel  
the muscles holding his sneer in place turning upward into a big Kako-grin, " _PLEASE_ MAKE HIM  
STOP!! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING I SWEAR! I'LL EVEN APOLOGIZE TO BAKARROT--I'LL TELL HIM I'M SORRY  
! I _AM_ SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO HIM! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! "  
  
  
" Ohhhhhh.... " Vegeta groaned, then sat up. He rubbed his aching head, which now felt  
like it had been run over by a dumptruck. The ouji looked around the room to find he was back  
inside the toll booth. He gasped, then ran over to a small mirror hanging on the wall and sighed  
with relief, " No Kako-smile..thank God. " he said, then lit up, " Waitamintue. If I'm back here,  
then does that mean I'm... " he rushed out of the toll booth, only to have multiple balls of ice  
smack him ontop of the head, " The hail storm...I'M HOME!! HAHA! I'M HOME I'M HOME! " he laughed  
happily as he pranced about the bridge gleefully, " WHEE! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! " he sang, grinning  
. The prince looked down at himself, " And not a single scratch on me! HA! I'm safe! "  
" Safe from what? "  
Vegeta turned around to see a familiar figure standing behind him. He whooped with joy,  
" LITTLE B-CHAN!! " he shouted, throwing his arms around her, " OH BURA--LITTLE B-CHAN YOU'RE  
BACK! And you're hair's blue again and you don't have a tail anymore and you're not Kaka-spawn!  
OH I'M SO RELIEVED! " he said, hugging her, then paused, " ...what are you doing out here? "  
" I came looking for you. After you left--we all got so worried, we didn't know where you  
went; and we got REALLY worried after Dende tried used his powers to search for you, he couldn't  
find you, it was like you weren't anywhere on the planet! "  
" I wasn't... " Vegeta mumbled to himself, still bewildered as to what had happened to  
him.  
" Huh? " Bura looked up at him curiously.  
" Uhh--it's nothing B-chan. " Vegeta laughed nervously, " Forget it. "  
" Hmm..oh-kay! " Bura smiled, shrugging. She grabbed Vegeta's wrist, " Come on Toussan,  
let's go home. " she said as she pulled him back across the bridge into the city.  
" But--isn't everyone still mad at me? " he asked, scratching his head.  
Bura looked at him with uncertainty, " Well, not EVERYONE. We couldn't let you just spoil  
our Christmas party like that. Mrs. Goten's Mommy even got Mr. Goten's Daddy to come! "  
" You mean Kakarrot's there too? "  
Bura sighed, " More like half-there. He's done nothing but lay on the couch & watch  
Christmas specials on TV since he got here. "  
" Ohhhhh..poor Kaka-chan. I ruined his small, third-class existance for nothing! " Vegeta  
said sadly, then perked up, " But not for long. "  
" Eh? "  
" As soon as we get back there B-chan, I'm going to apologize to Kakarrot for what I said  
to him. And I really mean it this time. " Vegeta nodded.  
" Awww, Toussan. That's so sweet of you. " Bura said. Vegeta stopped in front of one of  
the stores, staring inside.  
" B-chan, we need to make a stop first. " he said, still staring in the glass window.  
" A stop? Why? " Bura said, running over to him. She looked up at the object in the  
window & smiled at Vegeta, " Oh Toussan, you are wonderful. "  
  
  
" Hello! " Vegeta said as he & Bura entered Capsule Corp.  
" MERRY CHRISTMAS! " Bura said happily as she bounced inside after him.  
" Bura! You're back! " Bulma said.  
" Hi Kaasan! "  
" BULMA! " Vegeta grinned, zipping over to her, " IT'S YOU! YOU'RE NORMAL AGAIN! AND  
YOU'RE NOT MARRIED TO KAKARROT! " he said, hugging her.  
" Vegeta what are you talking about? " Bulma said flatly.  
He kissed her, " That's not important right now! I'm just glad to see you--I don't REALLY  
smell, do I? "  
" No you--you smell fine! " Bulma said, perplexed.  
" Oh! That's great! That's really really great! " he patted her on the back, then ran  
into the living room where the rest of the gang was, " I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! " he said with joy.  
Everyone stared at him, " This is great! Piccolo--Kuririn--18, you aren't grinning like big  
empty-headed Kako-slaves! Yamcha--you aren't a bearded drunk hippie! Trunks--you EXIST! BOTH OF  
YOU! Chi-Chi---uh..uh.. " he looked at the raging anger on her face, " --you still hate my guts!"  
he said happily, " And--and-- " Vegeta said softly as he noticed the large figure squnched up  
on the sofa. He walked over to him, " --Kaka-chan. " he whispered.  
Goku looked over his shoulder, then sat up; his eyes bloodshot & filled to the brim with  
tears, " Yes? " he choked out. Everyone instantly turned towards Goku, who hadn't spoken since  
he left his house.  
" I--uh--I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for what I said to you earlier, you didn't  
deserve that. " Vegeta stammered, then pulled out a wrapped gift from behind his back, " But, you  
DO deserve THIS. " he held out the package.  
Goku took the package out of the shorter saiyajin's hands & looked down at it. He smiled,  
" For me? "  
" Yeah... " Vegeta hung his head, embrassed.  
" You...bought a package...just for me? " Goku said in a small voice.  
" Yes. " Vegeta said, looking in the other direction, his face now bright-red with  
embrassment.  
" You really went out and bought me a Christmas present just to cheer me up because you  
love me so very much? " a tiny smile appeared on Goku's face.  
" Err...Kakarrot.. " Vegeta could feel his face practically glowing, " JUST OPEN THE  
STUPID PRESENT ALREADY! " he screamed at the top of his lungs.  
Goku sniffled, " Aww Veggie. " he said, then attacked the present, ripping the brightly-  
-colored paper to shreds to reveal a box. He carefully opened the box, then gasped at the object  
inside. Goku's eyes widened to the size of two huge frying pans. He squealed, " OH VEGETA YOU ARE  
THE BEST LITTLE BUDDY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! " Goku pulled the fishy-slippers that he had  
fawned over in the window display at the store. He ripped off his boots & chucked them across the  
room, then put the fishy-slippers on his feet. He lept off the couch & wiggled his unimaginably  
comfortable toes, " They're more wonderful than I ever dreamed they were! " he clasped his hands  
together & giggled with joy. Goku tip-toed over to his little buddy & smiled admirably at him,  
" Oh little Veggie. " he picked the ouji up by the underarms & held him at his own height, " How  
could I have ever been mad at you. "  
" So..you don't hate me anymore? " Vegeta asked him curiously.  
" I could NEVER hate you--you silly confused little buddy 'o-mine! " Goku said, hugging  
the ouji tightly.  
Vegeta sighed, " Thank goodness, after what I went through I don't think I could've taken  
any more rejection. "  
" AFTER WHAT _YOU_ WENT THROUGH! " Chi-Chi exclaimed, still steamed at Vegeta, " MY GOKU  
CRIED HIS EYES OUT OVER WHAT YOU SAID TO HIM!--what DID you say to him? "  
Vegeta glanced around the room; Goku still hugging him, " You mean--Kakarrot didn't tell  
any of you? "  
The gang looked around, caught off guard.  
" Well-- " Kuririn spoke up, only to be interupted by Chi-Chi.  
" --HOW COULD WE FIND OUT! MY BABY WAS BAWLING SO HARD HE COULDN'T EVEN TALK! " Chi-Chi  
yelled at him.  
" So, if that's correct, none of you even knew WHY you were mad at me--did you? " Vegeta  
said with a smirk on his face.  
Everyone tried not to make eyecontact with the short saiyajin.  
" HA! Now that IS ignorant of you. You're all so quick to accuse me of things that you  
don't even bother TO LEARN WHAT IT IS I SAID TO KAKARROT IN THE FIRST PLACE! " Vegeta grinned,  
taking advantage of the group. Goku pulled the ouji away from him & set him down on the ground  
again, still smiling sweetly at the short prince. Vegeta walked over to the others.  
" Well, what DID you tell Son-kun? " Bulma asked.  
" Oh, I just told him the truth about Santa; you know, that he doesn't exist. That it's  
really the rest of us putting presents under his tree, not some magical fat bearded man. "  
Bulma laughed, " Come on Vegeta, everyone knows that Santa Claus is real. "  
" Oh yeah? Then were IS he? " Vegeta crossed his arms, smirking.  
" Simple. " Bulma said, " He's right behind you. "  
" ? " Vegeta turned around to see none other than the magical fat bearded man standing  
behind him with a sack of toys over his shoulder.  
Santa Claus laughed, " Ho ho ho, oh Vegeta you moron. " he said cheerfully as he  
playfully backslapped the ouji across the back of his head, " Of course I'm real. "  
Vegeta's eyes widened, " Ka-ka-Kakarrot! It's-it's-it's-- "  
" --SANTA CLAUS!!! " Goku squealed at the top of his lungs. He bounced over to where  
Santa was standing, " HI SANTA! "  
" Ho ho ho. Hello Son Goku. " Santa said, shaking Goku's hand. Goku grinned, over-excited  
and shook back, nearly crushing Santa's hand. Santa yelped, " AHHHH!! " he quickly pulled his  
hand away, " Oh, oh, oh that--that hurt. " he said, laughing jollily, " I see one little boy  
who's been working out this year. "  
" OOOH!SANTASANTASANTASANTA! IT'S REALLY REALLY YOU! " Goku said, shaking with excitement  
" Of course it is little Son-kun. Now do you see why you shouldn't believe everything  
Vegeta says? " Santa laughed, shaking his finger at Goku.  
" HEY! " Vegeta said angrily. He elbowed Goku, " Don't listen to him Kakarrot! He's  
against me! They're ALL against me! Especially those little elves of his! "  
" Ho ho ho ho. Elves! Ho ho ho! " Santa roared with laughter, " Oh Vegeta, are you living  
in the past. I don't have "elves" anymore. We've economized. We have an entire factory where the  
toys are produced by machines to keep up with the heavy orders. "  
Goku's face fell. Vegeta sighed sadly, " Now there's taking the dillusion out of it. "  
" Is the factory up at the north pole Santa? " Goku smiled, his eyes sparkling.  
" Ho ho, heavens no. It used to be--back when we had the elves. Now it's in Ohio. "  
" And I thought _I_ let all the cheer out of this stupid Kako-holiday. " Vegeta mumbled  
to himself. Santa backslapped Vegeta for the second time.  
" It is NOT a "stupid Kako-holiday". " Santa answered, " Christmas is a time for giving  
and loving and kindness. It is both the simple holiday of the celebration of baby Jesus's birth  
AND a multi-national-media-super-cow that gets milked for all the money it's worth from November  
to Christmas day. You won't believe all the products that have my picture on them. Ho ho ho.  
Anyway, it is my job to deliver presents to all the good little girls and boys. And even though  
you don't deserve a present, I'm going to give you one anyway. " he said cheerfully as he reached  
into his bag & pulled out a wrapped gift that he handed to Vegeta.  
Vegeta looked down at the gift & smiled, " Aww...wow. Thank you Santa Clau-- " he looked  
up and to his surprise Santa was gone.  
" Go on little buddy! Open it! " Goku said anxiously.  
" Alright already! " Vegeta said as he sat down on the couch & quickly ripped the  
wrapping paper to shreds. He lifted the top of the box and peeked inside. The ouji let out a yelp  
of joy, " AHA! " he took the object out & grinned, " IT'S THE TEDDY BEAR I SAW IN THE TOY STORE  
THAT I LIKED-- " his face turned red with embrassment as he stared at the knowingly smirks on the  
gang's faces, " --uh..yeah. " he chuckled lightly, then placed the stuffed toy back in the box,  
" You, uh, you know what? I'm gonna go put this in my room. Yeah. Heh-heh. " he laughed nervously  
as he walked out of the room, then stopped beneath the overhang & peeked inside the box for a  
second time & smiled.  
" Hey Veggie? " Goku said, peering over Vegeta's shoulder.  
Vegeta closed the box, still smiling, " Yes Kakarrot? "  
Goku giggled, pointing to a small bundle of green leaves tacked to the overhang above  
them, " Mistletoe. "  
Vegeta looked up, then paled, " Mistleto--Kakarrot no, no no no n--MMPH! "  
The entire gang burst into hysterical laughter as Goku layed a big wet sloppy kiss on  
the smaller saiyajin.  
Goku grinned, " I love you little buddy! "  
Vegeta growled at him while he disqustedly rubbed the Kako-germs off his face, " ERRR...  
KAKARROTTO! " he screamed angrily. Goku backed up as Vegeta chased him around the room in anger,  
" I OUTTA KILL YOU FOR THAT YOU BIG DUM BAKAYARO! NOW I HAVE KAKO-GERMS IN MY MOUTH!!! "  
" Hahahahaha! " Goku giggled as he dodged the prince, who tried mulitple times to tackle  
the taller saiyajin. He screeched to a halt & tripped Vegeta as he went running past, causing him  
to slam his face right into the floor, " Merry Christmas Veggie! " he said happily.  
Vegeta sat up on his knees, back facing Goku. He looked over his shoulder & glared at him  
for a second, then broke into a grin himself, " Merry Christmas Kaka-chan. " he smiled as he got  
up, " I wouldn't have you any other way. "  
Goku grinned back, " Yeah, me neither Veggie. Me neither... "  
*************************************************************************************************  
11:09 PM 12/8/01  
THE END  
Goku: Aww, that was a nice ending.  
Chuquita: (smiles) Thanks.  
Vegeta: (grumbles) It was a sappy ending if you ask me.  
Chuquita: Oh hush up! I could've givin you a lot worse ending than I did. I could've written it  
so there was a lump of coal in that box Santa gave you instead of a cute little plushie ya know.  
Vegeta: (thinks for a second) She's got a point.  
Chuquita: I'm glad you think so Veggie-brains. [to audiance] Next time in the Corner, we'll be  
hosting a very special fic. Now you may ask; why is it so special?  
Vegeta: (sarcastically humoring her) Why is it so special, Chu?  
Chuquita: Be-CAUSE my dear little Veggie-head; it does NOT star you OR Son-San.  
Goku & Vegeta: WHAT?!  
Chuquita: In fact, it's starring Piccolo!  
Goku & Vegeta: (deja vu) WHAT?!  
Vegeta: (angry) ARE YOU INSANE! HE'S A BIG GREEN IDIOT WITH A CAPE! (w/big watery eyes) What  
about your "little Veggie"?  
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Relax Veggie, you're both still in it.  
Vegeta: (all pouty) Well I don't see why you have to write a story about him!  
Chuquita: Vedge, I already wrote it. In fact, I uncharacteristically wrote it before I even  
started Part 3 of THIS story. Well, after this story's beginning Corner, but before I got to the  
actual story.  
Vegeta: (still pouting with his bottom lip out like a baby) It's still not fair.  
Chuquita: Oh dry up you big baby! (to audiance) Cya next time for the Corner's first & possibly  
only Piccolo story; "The Lava Lamp of DOOM". Later!  
Goku: Merry Christmas to all!  
Chuquita: And to all a good night! 


End file.
